FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
soo... how was my night?
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