you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
