Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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