You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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