I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
