there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize