Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
