He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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