Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
