I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
