I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
