Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm really busy with my period
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