we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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