how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
