he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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