oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
