I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
And then he peed in my hair
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