when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Panties = found
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
