if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
third nipple confirmed
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
