he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
