New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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