I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
