no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
