1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
soo... how was my night?
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