Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
