tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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