I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
