love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
