The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
