Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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