Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize