all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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