we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
