therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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