I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
