it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
