Tell her she can't have a vagina
People with herpes should wear stickers.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
