i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
