When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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