New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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