you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
