There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
