your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
