he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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