How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
