But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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