i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize