4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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