Christians are straight up FREAKS
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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