He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
