i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize