I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
