i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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