i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
