did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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