We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
