hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
