we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
