this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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