Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
