K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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