omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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