do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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