So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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