Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
