I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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