can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
