You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
