I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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